I’ve been feeling more like myself again lately (finally!) The nausea of early pregnancy has finally made its farewell and I’m eating again! Or… eating normally, I should say. Food and me have a strange relationship those first few months. I never want to eat, but NEED to eat and right now! Right NOW! I live in this weird, desperate state of needing to eat to avoid the worst possible nausea, but absolutely nothing seems palatable. Even spending 3 minutes trying to find something that might not make me gag can be much. much too long. I end up cramming plain bread down my throat as quickly as possible most of the time. Yuck. It’s really not a happy place to be at all. And I’m very grateful not to be anymore.
With my improved health, my energy returns little by little. Our school days are improving. We are accomplishing more and I’m feeling the desire to plan for more than just the bare minimum. The bare minimum is all I could manage these last months, and that is just the truth. I’ll admit, I had some moments questioning God’s plan for our schooling. It was a difficult enough transition to make when I was healthy, and then to become pregnant!?! And sick and exhausted? Really? I must’ve gotten it all wrong, I thought. He really couldn’t have planned this scenario for us…could He? And yet, we survived and I think they continued to learn through it all- at least a little bit. Well, learning or not, we survived and I guess that’s enough for now. Although it seems like forever at the time, two and a half months really does pass quickly in the scope of life. And when there are bigger things happening (like the creation of a precious, eternal soul), then I guess I’ll just cling to my trust in God’s plan and call it a day. He never has failed me yet. In fact, in every phase of my life, I look back and can see His providence. I wish, in those dark, difficult moments of life, that I could see only the good God has done for me. But in my human weakness it all becomes very cloudy. I’m working on it. And even now as I write this, it becomes more clear to me how this trial has worked to strengthen my faith. Being tested by fire, I suppose. I wouldn’t say I passed with flying colors- not by a long shot. But maybe I’m just a step closer to learning to give my whole self in trust to God’s will. I’m weak. I stumble. My faith in His mercy comforts me incredibly.
It’s been cold around here. No, that’s an understatement. It’s beyond freezing (literally), which has made for many days in a row without stepping outside for more than a brief moment. We’ve been…cozy. I guess that’s a pretty good way to put it. The house starts to feel a bit smaller when one is compelled not to leave for extended periods of time. We are all ready for some fresh air and new surroundings. Long days spent together do require creativity (and patience) and many a fort and art project has been made recently. Many a mess, too, but I’m trying to look past that stuff. Oh, and I had to show you the pictures of our dog in his winter boots. It was like -324 degrees the other day, and I was a little worried about his paws freezing. The boots – no, the dog in the boots – was hysterical. I haven’t heard that kind of laughter from my children in a while. He tip-toed around with them like he was walking on burning coals or something for quite a while. And then, when the kids starting throwing a stick for him to fetch, he leapt around in a way that I just can’t quite capture here with words. The pictures don’t capture it very well, either, but they are funny for me to look at anyway. That laughter, from my kiddos, was the highlight of my week.